My grandfather dies on a Monday. I have an Instagram reel titled ‘edit my debut novel with me part 4’ scheduled to post, and I consider moving it to the next day, but I don’t.

My partner tells me the way I write in social media posts or comments doesn’t sound like me. I want to sound like me! Also, every social media advice blog I see tells me that vulnerability and authenticity are in! But it’s really hard to balance that with a) not oversharing and b) not coming across very flat.

That second one is maybe just a me problem, because my genuine voice is… not the most enthusiastic. I feel strong emotions! I experience happiness! But a lot of the time I have a sort of deadpan affect to how I talk, and that doesn’t really translate to Instagram captions. I tend to overcorrect with !!!s and emojis, but this risks feeling not genuine.

Then there’s the question of what actually to share. As a writer, you’re not really meant to share the negative parts of the process, at least not whilst that process is ongoing—if a publishing professional sees you complaining about rejections, it’s inevitably going to colour their opinion of your work. I’m also in a position where I can’t actually share all the positive developments yet. Which is, don’t get me wrong, a good position to be in overall! But it limits me.

Sooo… I share my current process, the general vibes. Vague pieces of info about my book, a snapshot of my feelings.

My ‘day in the life’ reels are probably my favourite to make—and also coincidentally (or maybe not coincidentally? does the algorithm know I genuinely like making them?) the most successful in terms of engagement. They condense 24 hours of my day into about 35 seconds. I skip most meals, naps and boring things; I also only tend to film them on days I’m not working my day job. I don’t fake anything. But it’s undoubtedly selective.

Cool zine fair: yes. Granddad dying: probably not.

And that is fine. I don’t really want to share all aspects of my life online. At the end of the day my goal on social media is to connect with potential readers of my books. I am told by social media experts that people connect more with a person than a product, so I try to put myself out there too. I try to be genuine. But if I don’t succeed in that entirely, it’s not the end of the world.

I’d advise other authors to find their version of the balance. Don’t lie, don’t be someone you’re not. If you can, do share things that make you come across as a real human. We live in a world of AI and algorithms, and people are craving real connection to real people. Small, relatable details will help. But equally, it’s okay to keep some parts of your life close to your chest.

Maybe I’ll be a bit more open on this platform—an email newsletter feels a little more intimate than Instagram, and there’s also no pressure to make this look pretty, which helps with sharing the grittier parts of my life (a cute infographic being like: my day job is doing redundancies! does not feel appropriate).

So, subscribe? I’ll try to be honest, unless I really don’t want to. Then, I suppose I’ll do what all writers do, and make it up.

Reading: Holly Black’s Stolen Heir duology. SO good.

Watching: Succession season 1 (again)

Online: I loved this Substack on ‘writer’ as an identity

Sneak peek: something very fun in my inbox, see below!